June 1st 1991 baby
ex - Singapore Polytechnic communications student
Strictly Dance Zone

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FIRST, I DECLARE THAT ALL THESE IS MY OWN FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, I DIDNT TYPE THIS TO PURPOSELY OFFEND OR PICK ON ANYONE, BUT BECUS I'VE BEEN FEELING THIS FOR QUITE A WHILE ALREADY, AND I CANT STAND IT. PPL WHO KNOW ME WELL SHUD NOE I BLOG TO RELEASE EMOTIONS SO, DONT READ THIS POST IF U CANNOT TAKE COMMENTS FROM AN ANGRY PERSON.

urgh, the unfairity of all these shit, overwhelming.
yeah, nth is ever fair all right, but this is fucking too much luh. like, wat the hell. wat are we now? 'helpers' or slaves?

havent been v satisfied/happy wid the organisation/management of every training, behind the scenes etc. like, okay, we arent de management team as we used to be known as, but we are still known as 'Rio's helpers'. TCS was fine wid majority of us. i mean, we volunteerily helped, and we helped A LOT. i seriously believe if we didnt step up to help to lead dat kinda stuff, every training startin frm de day TKSS students came down, wudave been chaos, absolute chaos.

last time it was fine, although we had to sacrifice, i was totally alright wid it, becus i felt proud to serve, proud to be a helper. proud not becus we had a 'superior name' to us but becus it jus feels good to like, help those who needed. but now, ever since kai stepped down n bev took up his responsibility, i feel more n more disgusted. yes. DISGUSTED is de exact word.

i mean like, i understand why of all ppl "kai passed his responsibility to her" [actually even if kai didnt pass it to her, someone else wudave pulled her up to authority]. i understand that bev is Leader-quality as she is a high D profile. but sometimes i fucking cant stand it when bev/rio let their personal life control the 'work life'. it started off alright. but over time, it became more n more obvious that bev AND rio canot lead properly w/o kai's help.

i used to complain dat kai is too strict abt seperating priv n work life, now i understand why...

de biggest number 1, rio is biased. SUPER biased, n he cant lead la can. wtf man. look, rio is supposed to be the SKYRUNNER IN-CHARGE from the Illers. he is SUPPOSED to be the one running all the programs, organising, leading in skyrunning. but hey! so far, who have been the one doing everything? [i noe im stereo-typing by saying 'everything' becus i noe rio did do some behind-de-scene stuff, such as de choreo, but other than de choreo, i really cant think of any other thing he has thought of that helped wid the trainings.] (i apologise beforehand if i say this w/o seeing rio's side to the story, and if he DID do alot of stuff i dont know of)
just ask ANY skyrunner participants, ANY ONE. noticed i stressed ANYONE. and i bet they will feel dat de incharge is kai, n now, bev. jus look at all de trainings, oni when it comes to choreo where rio takes his position, other than dat, normal buddy-grp-help trainings, its kai n now, bev.

anyway, im super fucking pissed also becus. when we were the 'management team', wid kai leading us, all was fine. dere were disagreements no doubt, but id jus cite REAL examples.
1 - wid kai, we, de helpers, will always be informed by kai beforehand regarding wat we will be doing at nxt training, even if it was jus a brief information.
now, only bev noes every fucking thing and she doesnt tell ANYONE. i mean okay, yes, some stuff is... supposedly rio says oni betw him n her, but i dont get it, if u guys want OUR help, u need to inform us of wat to do right? LOOK. every training nowadays, dis is wat happens: we come, we warmup, we go down, n on the spot, we are TOLD to do this, do that

2 - wid kai, he assign us to respective groups, depending on where we are more suitable to help n where we are better to help in, most of the time, we stick back to where we everytime help at.
now, every training, we get last minute instructions n we are pushed everywhere, wherever that needs help. its really pissing luh. its DISGUSTING can. like, if u want our help, pls for heavens sake give us instructions beforehand, we are HELPERS, not SLAVES. we are not PAID to do all these shit. fuck. we have feelings too.

rmb dat kai keep telling us, we are not management, we are HELPERS, we are NOT superior. we are the same level as the others, jus dat we are seen as leaders becus we stepped up to help. but now, i cant stand it man, i dont want to say it, but its been a prolonged annoyance, i cant stand it anymore.
this is very bad for me to say but, sometimes nowadays, i cant help but feel some ppl becoming more n more SUPERIOR each day.

instead of hearing our helpers thoughts sometimes, we are like, ti4 si3 gui3, we are called as and when we are needed. and SUPERIOR powers do all de decision making. end. no information, NOTHING. i say, you do. finish.
go eat shit la. think wat? know all de behind-de-scenes things so wat? zzz

urgh, super tired of the AWESOMELY lousy organisation. dont even bother helping anymore. id rather be one of the TKSS student, no sacrifices, n most inportantly, NO POLITICS SHIT.

blehs. i resign.
u guys are power, so u guys, do ur own stuff, dont need our help no more. (: cus we dunno wats happening anymore and we dont know what to do. so, u guys jus organise n do ur own stuff.
okay?

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