June 1st 1991 baby
ex - Singapore Polytechnic communications student
Strictly Dance Zone

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tonight, i declare the freedom for my teeth! =D
BBB!
Bye Bye Braces!
but it feels so empty now. bah!


should i take jap? -dilemma-

8 more days to NDP. wow. time flies.
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aight. ive been busy.
joined modern dance on monday cus RYAN HAS COME TO TEACH! wooohooo. but, modern dance trainings are now on monday evenings and sat mornings, and sessions are on thurs. omg~ AND IT GAVE ME BIG BIG BA-LU-KUs(BRUISES) ON BOTH MY KNEES! omt~

i cried today. a little. after hiphop, when i was at dover mrt. why? becus i felt so stressed, so i cried. wowified. gosh. its the first time i got so stressed til i cry.
Let me tell you why:
Mon: sch ended @ 4. Modern Dance training frm 5.30 - 7.15. den 7.15 - 10+ is seniors teach.
Tues: sch ended @ 2 (cus no CD). NDP training 6 - 10.
Today: sch ended @ 3. HipHop training 3.45 - 5+

So now, my schedule is like this:
Mondays: sch end 4pm; Modern Dance 5.30 - 7.15+++
Tuesdays: sch end 2pm/4pm; NDP training 6 - 10+
Wednesdays: sch end 3pm; Hip Hop 3.45 - 5+
Thursdays: sch end 3pm; Modern Dance session, any time, minimum 1hr
Fridays: sch end 4pm
Saturdays: Modern Dance 9 - 12. NDP rehearsal 2.30 - 10.30+
Sundays: Church 12.45 - 4~5

plus all the dance auditions and deadlines for graded assignments,presentations and MST coming up, i cant imagine how im gona cope.

hiphop training was crappy today. D: i think daniel was upset that he came in de studio to see all de Jrs sitting down, only bev, kerrie, randall and me practicing. den we PT, den immd after that, mock test;audition. 1 guy 1 girl go in 1 partition at once n dance the choreo learnt over the last lessons. if im not wrong, many many many ppl failed. me and de guy i went in wid both failed. for the guy is not on de beat, for me, daniel say my movement not nice. den he say we both must practice. same for bev and her 'partner'.
i dont like auditions/interviews. i dun hav confidence. D: even shasha say i looked super scared when i about to go in for the mock test...

training ended v late, at 5.50. bev stayed back cus she gotta go buona vista @ 7.30. i wanted to stay bak to practice by myself too, but not v in de mood.
met kai at yishun for dinner. ranted to him. felt much better. we ate at FC den went to mac to slack. den EMI walked in wid her bf. whahaha. i felt so happy to see her. i miss her ><

Sometimes, i feel so little.
Sometimes, i feel so ugly.
Sometimes, i feel so uncool.
Sometimes, i feel so useless.
Sometimes, i feel like i can't dance at all.
but coincidentally, it all happens when your around.
I feel so shadowed, by you.

So what if... SO what if... SO WHAT? it is only an appearance. isnt it? i feel so disappointed dat ppl always tend to judge a book by its cover. a person who have the best bods or prettiest or angelic faces or biggest and shiniest eyes in de world doesnt mean anything, does it? sometimes, those ppl are jus asses, who have horrible personality and fucked up attitude.

BUT in the end, WHO REALLY CARES?
blehs. i cant help but feel dat its pointless to be a mature;thoughtful;understanding;nice;fun;loving kinda person sometimes. becus in de end, im not pretty. im not attractive. i dont bother dressing up. i dont put makeup. i dont flirt. i wear glasses. im jus the plain jane who prefers being the way i am. i aint someone who tries so hard to be extraordinary and eye-catching. I, am jus me.

I think my room have bed bugs, but i do hope i jus being over-sensitive.

Labels: Sadded

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oh gosh. im really gg crazy over Big Bang. oh ya. ive been voting for them:
http://kr.mtvasiaawards.com/Korea/FunStuff/widget/artist/17

was looking at youtube vids of Big Bang's bloopers and fan-made parodies of their songs. i realize Lies make very good parodies. the following two made me laugh big time. LOL.
Laugh away:




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This post will prolly be a picture + vid post. pics dat ive wanted to upload ever since ages ago, and vids that i am recently in love wid - Big Bang, G. DRAGON!! x3


Pics from 28 June, Comic and Toy Convention, NDP training:

VIDs TIME. wahaahohhaho.
MY LOVE:



Next is a remix of Big Bang's Last Farewell and duno whose Bad Boy, but its really nice. well it is to me at least. but i think Non-techno appreciators wun like it. :


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thanks to the Last Farewell that ferronne di intro-ed me last time, got me to this korean band's songs. MY GAWD. im crazy over em now, BIG BANG ROCKS.
. I LOVE KWON JI YONG aka G. Dragon! he's the leader. AND THE BEST THING, he's only 20 this year! -MELTS- oh and, all five guys in BB are cuties & THEY ARE ALL YOUNG. youngest is only 18 this year, oldest 21! and they can speak english v well man!



my fav tracks are Last Farewell, Lies & We Belong Together.

We Belong Together MV (G. Dragon is the main guy) :


Yeah
Baby boo, I'm always thinking about you (I'm still here)
Whatever you do, I'm the one to trust (yeah)
You know

ne nunur bwayo (YE, YE)
OH gudemanur midobolleyo (OH, OH)
meir honjaso urgiman haneyo (DON'T CRY)
nomu na gomaun goryo
OOH BABY BABY (YEAH!) nar anajwoyo (LOVE ME)
idero yongwonhi hamkeheyo (WE BELONG TOGETHER, UH)
jichin gude nege gidedo dweyo (YES!)
onjena guder sarang halleyo~ (LET'S GO) BABY

UH, UH, HEY BABY GIRL, WHAT'S UP onurdo nunbushin naui
gunyoga negero dagawa UH jogiboyo SAY HI
MY SWEET LOVER (YEAH) nan ajigdo bukurowo
nor bomyon nomu nado tollyo iron nar anajwo CUZ I'M FLA FLA
YE, FLY TO THE SKY uri mannaji mothe doramyon UH na othessurkka
non nega sanun iyu no obshin andwe I NEED YOU, FEEL YOU
ne nunur barabwayo MY LOVE

(OOH BABY BABY)
negeman sogsagyojwo darkhomhan ne gu ibsullo
ne gyothesoman sarajwo gathi hullyodon gu nunmullo
hanur bomyo mengse hejanha uri yongwon hagiro mennar gidohe
nar mido YE nor sarang he (COME ON)

ne nunur bwayo (YE, YE)
OH gudemanur midobolleyo (OH, OH)
meir honjaso urgiman haneyo (DON'T CRY)
nomuna gomaun goryo
OOH BABY BABY (YEAH!) nar anajwoyo (LOVE ME)
idero yongwonhi hamkeheyo (WE BELONG TOGETHER, UH)
jichin gude nege gidedo dweyo (YES!)
onjena guder sarang halleyo~ (LET'S GO) BABY

HEY HEY HEY HEY jamkan STOP PLEASE gudenun negenun hana phunin
nunbushin yonghonur nanun nomanui shinbunim
nuga mwora hedo nowa ne sain mod kurkhun burshi
isesang gajang MOST INCREDIBLE meir hollo dwemudji
dan duri weroi sarmur saragandedo
na jichigo jichyoso nowa na torojindedo
sesange miroe gadhyo borin nar wiro hejun guden ne HERO
norur mannan dwi ne sarmun LIKE DRAMA
UH nor hyanghan ne mamun sangwa namudur bodan do norbgo
do phurun LIKE bada gatdao padonun badado nowa nar jirthuhe
chinun baram gwaui datum
yongwonhi ME AND YOU uri sarangun hyonjejin hengjung (COME ON)

ne nunur bwayo (YE, YE)
OH gudemanur midobolleyo (OH, OH)
meir honjaso urgiman haneyo (DON'T CRY)
nomuna gomaun goryo
OOH BABY BABY (YEAH!) nar anajwoyo (LOVE ME)
idero yongwonhi hamkeheyo (WE BELONG TOGETHER, UH)
jichin gude nege gidedo dweyo (YES!)
onjena guder sarang halleyo~ (LET'S GO) YE YE YEAH~ (YES!)

gudeyo ne sonur jabayo narur midoyo (TRUST ME)
uri hamke ni gogjong hargod junhyo obsoyo
gudeyo nar barabwayo
jujomargo nege gideyo

na gude sengage onurdo hangsang solleyo
buphun gasumur ango gude chaja galleyo
gudeyo uri yongwonhi
WE BELONG TOGETHER, YOU'RE MY LOVE (OH~~)

OH BABY nar tonajimayo (OH YEAH)
gude obshin nado obnungor
non arjanhayo (non arjanhayo)
OH BABY ne son nohjimayo (OH~)
nar ullijima idero yongwonhi ne saranga
(OH BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY)
OH BABY shigani jinado
uri yejon gatji anha YOU KNOW nar arjanhayo
(YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU, YEAH)
OH BABY yogi ijanhayo (yogi ijanhayo)
nege angyo gidejwo nar midojwo ne saranga (OOH BABY~)

Labels: Big Bang, Bye, G. Dragon

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omg. to think dat i just walked into the wall 15 minutes ago.. and banged my forehead. resulting in a few milli-seconds of shock and a few more seconds of headache, and a few minutes of bruise-ache. i think the bruise will pop out some time in the day.
my gosh. i am awesome.

ouch.

Another random phrase frm anthr random msn contact's pm:

Labels: ouch

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you know what. i think blogger is against me uploadin piccus. ive been trying to upload pics ever since a month ago, but IT JUS DOESNT WANNA GET UPLOADED. braddy fruck.

sigh~ jus caught this sentence frm a friend's msn pm. i cant rmb the exact full pm but its smth like this:
Letting you go is the only way to love you more..

caught my attention.
spoked to me.
touched me heart.
blehs.
so true.


Friday was great! love Ms Tay man. if only she's our ptn. blehs. compared to our evelyn louis. i mean, yea i feel bad bitching abt her, its not that she's not nice, jus dat i prefer ms tay. haha! She treated us to donut factory! woo. the oreo one is awesome. BAHHA. n there was a donut fight luh can. CRAZY GIRLS.

Dance Garage was awesome. i now idolise Chen Hui Yen. gosh. she is.. .. dope. its like u see everyone dance, ultimately u still zoom in on her. she is super good man. halfway thru de concert, during the interval, me n bev realize SDZ peepo a few rows behind us. din dare to say hi or anything cus we arent known or wat not. after concert.. somehow or anther, me n bev was abt to walk away den met shasha n bin, shasha asked us to join. we dam paiseh, so we wanted to run away. in de end shasha n schizo ran up to us n asked us to join dem for dinner, so we did. lol! dam paiseh luh can. D: but it was great luh. lao pa sat-ed for dinner. heard this song in dere which got me addicted now..... :



every time i think of you
i get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
it's no problem of mine but it's a problem i find
living a life that i can't leave behind
there's no sense in telling me
the wisdom of a fool won't set you free
but that's the way that it goes
and it's what nobody knows
and every day my confusion grows
every time i see you falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment
you'll say the words that i can't say

i feel fine and i feel good
i feel like i never should
whenever i get this way, i just don't know what to say
why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
i'm not sure what this could mean
i don't think you're what you seem
i do admit to myself
that if i hurt someone else
then we'd never see just what we're meant to be
every time i see you falling
i get down on my knees and pray
i'm waiting for that final moment
you'll say the words that i can't say

an old song, but beautayyful nonetheless.

AHHH. tml is monday. which means. ITS THE LAST DAY OF RYAN'S HIPHOP COURSE. last day of Ryan's Hip Hop III course! omgomgomg. i will miss ryan. FYI, he's mine okay. peepo out there, get lost. he's MINE MINE MINE. i love old man... but selective. =D

I WANT MY DIY CUBE.
I WANT MY NEW SHOES.
I WANT MY NEW BAG.
I WANT MYmore MONEY.

i think im down wid a flu.
either that, or someone has been cursing me for the past 9 hours.

Labels: say the words that i can't say.

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Firstly,
ROAR. kick blogger's arse. crap. been trying to upload piccus to my posts, but BLOGGER JUST DONT WANT TO UPLOAD MY PICS.

this post aint for normal reading, so if your not the 'YOU' in this post, den u can move along. (:

sigh, i resolved to move on all right. but sometimes things u do still brushes salt against the healing wound. i have so many things i want to ask you, but i dont have the strength to do so. im pacing back and forth within my own world, trying to convince myself that i haven't got any business wid you anymre. sometimes i succeed, but it's undeniably superficial. at times i thought id move on, yet, at other times, i jus felt like saying "I Love You" a last time before i really turn my back and walk the other direction, but the knot that forms up in my throat makes me feel so disappointed wid myself, reminding me how silly i am to think that you still love me and dreaming of the day we walk down the streets tgt, hand in hand.

The promise you held in the last conv we had on msn b4 ur internet was gone, about you 'not going anywhere' and me not to worry n try too hard. I held that promise. i got over trying-too-hard. i went back to being myself. but was it jus to ease my heart, or was it a true promise. did you really mean it? dyu even rmb it? dyu still hold it? or does it even matter to you anymore? do i still mean smth to you at all?

The time when u talked abt the marriage thingy over the phn wid me, casually. did you really take my literal answer and believe that i was alright wid the topic? dyu even noe how difficult it was for me to remain calm and not cry and still pretend to laugh like its not hurting me? did u noe i was upset at all? did u talk abt those stuff on purpose? or was it jus a random thing?

Ytd night the ndp rehearsal while we were in CE preparing to go out to try out the finale performance, i was near u and u received a call and picked it up saying "Hi darling, wassup". did you do it on purpose? did you even consider how i might feel on hearing that? did u noe how much it made me upset even though it is the first time i felt that bad after de talk abt the marriage thingy that made me resolved to move on? or did you even CARE? or dyu hav the thinking that its my own fault for being so sensitive? for being so silly and dumb and stupid to think that u wud even care abt the possibility of me being unable to get over you yet and getting upset over your businesses?

i told bev i need to speak to you. to ask u all these stuff straight. i told her dat i needed a straight answer from you, esp the promise. cus its painful, and its jus me. i say i resolve to move on. it works out right. but then again it upsets me when u do those kinda things and it leads it back to your promise, and i start to wonder.
i cant seem to move on, i dont know why. i guess, it's becus of the promise. its that promise that made me hold on til now. but the talk abt the marriage thingy rly shook me. i knew it was painful, idk how i was to do it, n i still dont know how im gg to do it, but i knew i had to move on wid life. i cant possibly hold on to you waiting and waiting for 2 years. besides, im not someone you want for life, and your not someone i want for life. at least thats how it seems now.

i customized a couple-like keychain on 26 may at a flea market in my sch. its made of clay and both are heart shaped. 1 side shows a guy wid the word "always" and the name Kai at the side. anthr side shows a girl wid the word " love(the heart shape) u" and the name Ling at the side. i din noe why i bought it. its 6bucks. but i jus felt that i needed to buy it. so i did. i wrote the date i bought it in a note and wrapped it along wid the keychains. i knew it wasnt quite possible for me to give the keychain to u. but i wrote the date n wrapped it up, hoping that one day, someday, i might be able to give 1 side to you, and use the other side myself.
I think im going to throw it away. I don't know. its pointless to keep it anyway.

Labels: Give me an answer. please.

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