June 1st 1991 baby
ex - Singapore Polytechnic communications student
Strictly Dance Zone

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Happy chinese niu year all!

chu yi (first day of CNY) have passed now, which means school's starting soon, again.
which means i have to worry about the ginormous amount of work again.
with all the stuff weighing me down inside,
i think imma suffocate and die.
sigh.

well anyway, CNY visiting was... okay.
i wouldnt say it was lifee-changing or exciting or what not.
mornin, was the last to wakeup, went to juanning's hse, then ah gong's hse, then ah ma's, then 4 jek gong's. same routine each CNY.
wore my new brown jeans, yellow tee xiaoyi gave for xmas, everlast shoe, n the dolphin necklace+ring aunt connie gave for xmas & used the bag my eryi gave for xmas.

no pics! D: have to wait for my bro to edit n upload onto his photoblog first, so in the mean time just the tinie few i took.



chu xi ye(CNY eve night) at gran's hse:



long-ago pics, which ive always wanted to upload but was too lazy:

17 Dec'o8 (wed) :
the film "18 grams of love" was not bad. very entertaining.
rushed over to bugis to meet tyl aftr de film n Q&A session wid the director.
looked arnd for his long-owed birthday present. he cudnt find the jacket that caught his eye previously. D:
went cityhall after n his friend Alex joined us arnd peninsular plaza.
then to far east n tyl finally found wat he wanted. yay.


23 Dec'o8 (tues) :
had lunch at cine's LJ n then watched Twilight(finally) wid von, ethel, sis, moosh, lulu, nelson, n jugg.

von gave us xmas gifts! :D
ethel gave us goodie bags! :D
10 Jan'o9 (sat):



23 Jan'o9 (fri) :

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changed blogskin (:

shall edit the links next time, going for reunion dinner.

later! (: back to top?

havent been blogging, again.

lotsa stuff. lotsa work to do. lotsa stuff on my mind.

Econs test tml (WISH ME LUCK! ty (: )
PR CA2 report by 23 Jan, which is 2days from now
gems by 2 feb
IDEAs CA3 presentation by 5 feb
DVPA short film by 6 feb, which im super worried about
IVP stuff on last week of school.

zzomg. i think im gonna shit my brains out soon.

oh, & exam timetable is out alrdy.
2 papers for me.
18 Feb - Econs
25 Feb - IPRA

not too bad.


moosh! where are the NY celebration photos? :D
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thanks yiting mei for introing me this song. (:



oh, embedding is disabled, so click it to see from utube!

oh &, i finished Hana Kimi (jap version) already! :D

Labels: mad

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perhaps.
perhaps its just me.
perhaps it wouldn't have come down to this,
if i hadn't blew it up.

if things are better off when im gone,
then im sorry i ever appeared at all.
if it makes you happier,
i'll go.


おやすみ back to top?

fate or fate plays?
i don't know.
i don't know.
i don't know.i don't know.i don't know.
i don't know.i don't know.i don't know.i don't know.



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hello!
i didnt go for modern dance today and i feel bad about it. D:

anyway. SDZ NY celebrations ytd was fun. haha!
played some games. food was not bad.
talent showcase was DOPE AH. hahah!
although it wasnt perfectly organized but it was enjoyable luh. =D

Donovan sang,
sabri n gang sang,
lulu n weisheng was DOPEST LMAO,
weeter on the piano 'First Love' and idk wats the second song he played,
khai on de piano n singing Secondhand Serenade's Fall For You (its secretly for Zul),
von n anne singing 2 songs, 2nd one 하루하루 (HARU HARU)! WOOOTS!
last was lum n mel wid a combi of 4 songs. i cant rmb all but got jennifer hudson's Spotlight n last disturbia.

glad i went for the celebrations. took my mind of stuff for a bit. x)
the song Sabri sang/rapped somehow spoke to me.
haha, sounds like some inspiration thingy.
but yeah, Linkin Park's In The End. old old song.
but i think the lyrics' really meaningful.

In The End - Linkin Park

It starts with one
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when...

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter


and lumlum n mel's showcase made me like Jennifer Hudson's Spotlight:

Spotlight (Main Version) - Jennifer Hudson

the lyrics are nice too (: but i shant bother putting it here cus itd make my post too wordy.


pics for de celebrations next time! (:

Labels: in the end

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alright! hello everybody.
sorry for the past two super emo post.
thanks everyone, for consoling me yesterday during dance ytd when i broke down.
and thanks to evryone else who listened to my rantings too
really appreciate it. (:

well im done wid tears.
now I'M gone.
im not dying anymore.
im dead.
HAH. meaning im over! away! off! GONE!

after listening to all the advices.
i thought through hard and long.
and i think i screwed up my news writing paper i had in the evening just now.
but ANYWAY, the point is.
no matter what everyone say.
i still believe in one thing.
that he is a nice guy, just not good for love/relationships.
and that he was my soulmate, and always will be.
- a person with whom one has a strong affinity.
- One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.
(from dictionary.com)
but by that i mean how well he knew me.
stupid it sounds, but im not running away or hiding.
besides, things happen for a reason.
if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be.

i've never been the sort of girl who could muster the strength
to do things against what my heart feels.
but this time round,
i think its time to grow up.
and i am doing so.
so.. yay!
i rock!

smile because when things reach the trough,
it will go back up one day. (:

Labels: gone

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i dont even know where to start.
perhaps... i'll tell you this.
im hiding in the toilet right now typing this post.
becus i cudnt take it anymore and i ran out frm the clubhse to de toilet,
to hide my feelings.
the cleaner is outside cleaning the toilet as i hide inside,
and im hiding in here,
crying in pain,
alone.

i thought i was done wid crying.
it was numb in the morning.
as i woke up wid swollen eyes,
heavy heart,
soul-less.
i cudnt even squeeze a single tear out of me anymore.

its the afternoon now.
ive been thinking a lot.
a lot.
i was fighting my own feelings.
you know what kind of girl i am.
stupid.
stupid for always holding on and believing
even when im being lied to forever.

i want to believe what you said to me last night.. so much.
so much.
that you are doing this for my own good,
that i mean so much to you,
that you are afraid history would repeat itself,
so you wanted to let our feelings die off slowly,
that i am too good for an asshole like you,
that i have been the girl you thought of when you see loveydovey romantic movies
that you have dreamt of us a number of times already,
that you actually do cherish me.

but its not all true,
is it?
i was afraid too.
i was afraid that history would repeat too.
but you can't jus 'love' a girl one moment, kiss her n stuff,
and the next moment you are afraid to bring it furthur.
its just not how it works!
why could'nt we just talk it over?
like how we used to talk on the phone whenever we had probs.
why can't you just tell me the truth?
why?
why are you always running away?
why?
why can't you just sit me down nicely and tell me the truth?
it would hurt.
but it hurts more that you always have to lie,
to satisfy me momentarily
and it hurts even more when i find the truth out from elsewhere.

I JUST WANT ANSWERS TYLER.
answers.
i dont wanna hear lies.
even if they are white lies.
i dont want to hear them.
i was afraid to like you again.
but i gave you a try,
becus i trusted.
but why couldn't you try too.
why are you so... weak.
why cant you fight for what you want.
WHY?
why....

but then again.
maybe you never loved me at all.
no.
you never even liked me before.
the scariest thing is.
i dont even know which of you is real anymore.
who are you?
do i know you.. anymore?

i just want the truth.
tell me about us.
tell me about her.
tell me about her friend.
tell me what you are really feeling.
please.
tell me so that i can really decide once and for all.
becus im dying from the pain. back to top?

modern dance exam is done. din go as bad as i thought it would be.

not really gonna blog much during this period of time.
lotsa things happening.
lotsa work and emotions weighing me down recently.



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OMG. thanks sean!

Wonder Girls & Big Bang - Special Cross Stage @ MBC Gayo Daejun 081231

haru haru was SO NICE.

DOPE AH.

Labels: Big Bang, WonderBang, Wondergirls

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