June 1st 1991 baby
ex - Singapore Polytechnic communications student
Strictly Dance Zone

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AHH yeh! finally got this song. =DD excellent! addictive tune. xdd



[Verse 1:]
Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
When you left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

[Pre Chorus:]
And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hit me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

[Chorus:]
And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke all
These cigarettes no more
I guess this is what I get
For wishful thinking
Should've never let you into my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
It's not usual like how I'll leave
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my decease
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my decease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my decease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my decease

[Verse 2:]
Damn,
Ain't it crazy
When your love slams?
You'll do anything
For the one you love
'Cause anytime
That you needed me
I'd be there
It's like
You were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way
That I was using you
But now that I know
That it's not meant to be
You gotta go
I gotta win myself over you

[Pre Chorus:]

[Chorus:]

[Ad libs]

[Chorus:] back to top?

work today was the sleepy-est.
firstly fell asleep on train on the way there. woke up n found myself at CITY HALL. heng oni miss 1 stop. woke up super blur. took back 1 stop to dhoby. YAY i think i finally know how to spell it correctly: Dhoby Ghaut. -CLAP PLS TY-.

WOOTS. finally know wats the name of dat cute guy who works at AV [Audio-Video]. finally got 'close enough' to see his tag. He's called JACKY! name-kawaii. like jacky the dog. HAHA. no offence! WOOTS n i talked to him 'face to face'. well not rly. jus ask him to pick up the line. HE'S de most good looking staff . in my opinion luhs! n i talked to him! HEHEHEHHEHHH! kidding. i am just over-reacting, the dramatic me. thankyou thankyou.

thanks bev for peiing me for lunch tday. =D
HELLO NOELLE SAN LING! met her at PS during lunch break. =D so qiao. HI to Noelle's fren too. (=

Painful truth.
Last goodbye.
Thank you..?

D':

Labels: oh the tears..

back to top?

please tell me it's not over.
tell me you haven't lost the love we used to share.
'cus if you've really lost it,
i don't know anymore. back to top?

just chged my blog music again. gawd. this song makes my heart break big time. D': really really beautiful song. really good lyrics..

Gomen kor and all those who care for me. I feel like continueing being a silly girl...

Gackt - Last Song [English] lyrics

Artist: Gackt
Album: Other Song Lyrics
Title: Last Song [English]

Walking around aimlessly by myself
Breathing a faint sigh, my breath turns white
Seasons change, and in this fleeting season..
My tears fall for no reason
"Even now, I still love you
Falling sadness transforms into pure white snow
I'm always looking at the sky above me
Before this body disappears, I want to reach the wish I have now
Once more, I want to hold you
How many times have we not understood and hurt eachother
But even at those times, we were still gentle
Engraved on the ring that you suddenly gave back to me
..Was our promise that will never come true
"Even now, I remember..
These far off thoughts are just brilliant flashes in my memory
I wanted to be next to you
Even though I can't see you anymore, I'll always be next to you
I never want you to change

I can't erase those last tears that you showed me [from my memory

In your heart, if I disappear along with all these snowflakes
I want to bloom [in your heart once again]
Don't forget the warmth of us being close together, and hugging
Don't forget even if you love someone else
I'll never let go [of the memory] of when I heard your voice last and so
..I just want to fall into a deep sleep
Continuously falling sadness transforms into pure white snow
I'm always looking at the sky above me
Before this body disappears, I want to reach the wish I have now
I want to hold you once more
"I want to hold you once more"


I try time and again to be strong.
i AM strong.
but you break me every single time.
I really wished you'd cherish US.
but truth is.
your not even sure you love me anymore.

Where have Kitsuie Koriiha gone?
D':

Labels: seeing couples breaks me...

back to top?

lazy to blog about Vietnam trip+Bev's birthday chalet. besides, my hp's gone n no pics to post. hah~

first day of work tday. uper sian n tired. i feel like quitting already. super boring can. so far i think oni 1 guy caught my eye. lols~ -hua chi-
Thanks Dreamze kor/master for coming to find me after work tday. =D gave me smth to look forward to. YOU DIN WRAP UR 'PRESENTS' !!! D: .. XD

finally found the lyric:


也许放弃　才能靠近你　不再见你　
你才会把我记起　时间累积
这盛夏的果实　回忆里寂寞的香气　
我要试着离开你 不要再想你　
虽然这并不是我本意
你曾说过　会永远爱我　
也许承诺　不过因为没把握　别用沉默
再去掩饰甚么　当结果是那么赤裸裸　
以为你会说甚么　才会离开我
你只是转过头　不看我
不要刻意说　你还爱我　
当看尽潮起潮落　只要你记得我
你曾说过　会永远爱我　也许承诺　
不过证明没把握　不用难过
不用掩饰甚么　当结果是那么赤裸裸　
其实不必说什么
才能离开我　起码那些经过　属於我
也许放弃　才能靠近你　不再见你　
你才会把我记起　时间累积
这盛夏的果实　回忆里爱情的香气
我以为不露痕迹　思念却满溢　
或许这代表我的心
不要刻意说　你还爱我　
当看尽潮起潮落　只要你记得我
如果你会梦见我　请你再抱紧我 back to top?

finally got the chance to blog. gawd. still hav to work later on in de day. its currently 12.29am on tues as i type. gawd i love Avril's Innocence. pity i dont hav the song.

suayness. hp got stolen in vietnam on 2nd day. at the post office. crap. i cried. not cus lost the pics+contact numbers. but becus of the doll dat hangs on my hp.. and those past msgs.. maybe its tian yi[heaven's purpose] to make this happen after all.. so dat it means its rly gone.. bahs.

logged into the net on sunday night in Vietnam using my bro's laptop at kfc using the free wireless dere. 2 main reasons. to get bev's contact number n anthr reason. but when i logged in n found out some stuff. heart dropped n the anthr reason.. gone. no point.


I can guess what it really is.
I think so.
Its hard to see someone you love walk away wid somebody else.
but i guess,
its goodbye.

Goodbye.
谢谢你

back to top?

Tuesday [20 .11.07] : went to Connie ah yi's hse. tried her trench coat. quite cool but not feminine. =x bahs. my blister bled.
got my contacts at night. took 1 hr to learn how to put in+take out. i nearly felt like giving up. rawr. n my arse dad kept kpkb say big theory wat do this do dat. so easy oso canot. YAYA u go try la say til so clever.

Yesterday [21.11.07] : PROM DAY. took 30mins to put on my contacts. felt super uneasy wid it as its my first time wearing it-not counting when i first learnt how to 'use it'. mom put on make up for me. wore mom's gown, earring, necklace; my own half-jacket, new heels.
late 30mins in meeting bev. paiseh! blardy hell. when i was w8in for 806 to come theres dis freakin mozzie keeps coming back to me where ever i walk. den bit my hand THRICE. crap. n it clings on to my hand like.. wtf! had to rly flick it away wid my hand den it will fly off. ANTI MOZZIE.

super awkward on the way to meet bev cus pp keep staring at me. BLAHS. wats wrong wid a 16 yr old girl dressing up n wid make up? anyw. reached orchard-far east. did hair at this salon/shop Highest. bahs. it was a huge disappointment for me. but bev look great in de makeup+hairstyle dey made for her. i spent 45bucks for cut/trim+style. in de end. they nv ask me wat style i wan my hair to be, dey start CURLING it. fuck! i DID NOT wana curl my hair AT ALL LA. i wanted smth like lanfang's hair. STRAIGHT. den in the end de hairstyle made me look so AUNTIE. makes my face look elongated, or to b simple, long. AND TODAY[thurs] i jus found out my hair is exactly de same as before cut, jus dat a bit less thick. wtf? CRAP sia.

after my hair done. waited for bev's to b ok cus her makeup took so long. after dat i complained abt my hair. ps bev. den went to sweettalk get smth to drink. thanks bev for the eyedrops, if not i cud've gone blind. then, MARIOTT! =D

30+ pp attended only. kinda little but, ahh well. at least there's a prom. (: four tables. im at table 3 wid bev, xiuhui, samantha, pam, cynthia[PROM QUEEN], shaun(4G), nigel, owen, jack.

the food was hmm.. so-so? not very fit my taste luhs. i can only say i liked the dessert. xd and i cant say i enjoyed myself thoroughly luhs. cus my eyes was super dry n i hav problems seeing properly. i was still sick. i was thinking of rltnshp probs. so sorry for those arnd me if i was rather.. saddistic? yeh. esp bev. (:

PROM QUEEN N PROM KING! i voted for Cynthia n Zhongshou. n they won. HOHO.
Top 3 Queens: Cynthia. Bev. Jasmine.
Top 3 Kings: Zhongshou. Nigel. Owen.

cyn n zs was forced to dance but they din. in de end they took pics of their shadows kissing. n some looked like zs was kissing cyn's chest area. LMAO.
& zhongshou somehow makes me think of kitsuie.. somehow. mayb its his rebonded fringe...

Pics here: http://s91.photobucket.com/albums/k292/fallenxhantu/CCHY%20Prom%20o7/
PASSWORD FOR GUEST: iamaguest
-dont mind me looking ugly. my hair screwed up-

Random pics:




back to top?

back to top?

you've just 'given' me anthr stab in the heart.
thanks. so much.

你让我再一次拥有,
又一次流泪.

-2:01 AM-
back to top?

din blog ytd. din had de mood. crap.

dad drove me & bev to Great World City dis mornin. i was super groggy n sleepy on de car n i keep yawning luhs. reached Best Denki HQ. then we wer jus like 5mins early liddat cus is scheduled briefing at 9.30am. then dere are like many othrs our age de oso luh, in the briefing/training room.

there was this specific guy who caught both me n bev's attention. ahhh. he's super cute cans! his eye big big like can 'shoot electricity' liddat. LMAOS. but yeah. in fact he's de only gud looking guy luhs. so. yeah. his name's Jonathan, if bev is not wrg. but sad! he work at ngee ann city. =[ SPEAKING OF WHICH. Ngee Ann City's Best Denki de boss name is GARY GOH. oh my tian? Da Ge? HAHA. wat a coincidence.

Mr. Lim, the guy who briefed us, said for me to report work only on 27th. cus no pt i work 2 days for dis week. ps bev. u hav to work alone for a week. =X
ANYWAY. after the briefing we missed Jonathan twice. gawd. he walked passed us TWICE. ahhh. sad. i kinda daydreamed n imagined scenes of me being in his arms. gawd. im gg insane.
oh and, Great World City's toilet is Romanian. =O

took the free shuttle bus to orchard. walked to Cineleisure frm Tangs;Mariott. PASTAMANIA BABY! woots. long time since i had pastamania. -misses- gawd the pastamania there brgs back happy memories. sighs. reminiscing is painful man. =[
treated myself to a $12.80 meal. combo A & Chicken Cheese Salsissa. super full. the chicken cheese sausage's delicious.

lalla. was in Fiesta halfway thru the post. am gona continue right now as leave my shop set up on fiesta. S>ELRUES. HAHA! blahs. no use advertising here. i dont think anyone who reads my blog plays Fiesta.

ANYWAY. continue:
after breakfast cum lunch. walked all the way to far east. slowllyy. cus my feet n bev's were starting to ache. n we were super full. walkd arnd. OH MY TIAN. shades shades and more shades! AHH. i wanna get shades! hoho! after i get contacts. im getting shades. & my blister bled. D: super painful. even more painful when i bathed jus now.

saw some stuff dat made bev very very heartbroken n upset. its alright girl. jiayou jiayou. u can get over it. =[ i think if it was in my case. id cry like shit. you go girl. u can get over it. =)

looks like i made those stuff for nothing...


i do hope its the latter...

Labels: Sincerity? please?

back to top?

slept at 2 and woke at 7. super tired but no choice. cus had to go ICA again to collect my passport[finally]. mom had to like call me to wake up manyy times before i did. met Juanning's dad, my ah gu, at yishun mrt. he was heading for tpy.

Lavender. crap. de building opens at 8AM n we reached at like 8.40AM. and ours is only collection of passport. guess how many people was infront of us in queue? 187. yes. ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY SEVEN peepos in queue before us. wowness. so mom n me went to dis place behind de building.. ate at coffeeshop. den after eating slowly walk back, went toilet, den go. stil got 10 peepo befre us.
oh my god i look like a freaking sinister killer in my new passport. de pic was my bro take de n is taken jus before i went off to bathe. so its like, i din smile+my hair was a lil messy. CRAP.

afta collecting my passport. went to Bugis to pray at the Kuan Yin temple. mom got us amulets for the coming trip to Vietnam. den went to Bugis Junction to look for my work+prom stuff. in de end not much. went bak to Bugis street to TRY to shop. but it was like 11.05am n 80% of the shops havent open[not counting the food stores]. so settled like 5mins at the small coffee shop in dere. walked abt again. STILL majority shops not opened. in de end got my clogshoe for work dere. $19.90. CRAP. buy liao den walk walk den realised got othr shop selling a few bucks cheaper. =='|


left for bishan cus both mom n i thought dere can spend away the 50bucks Capital land malls voucher. in de end realised quite pathetic, nth much to spend on. den finally went into Bata. found my prom shoes+clutch. they're really pretty!



back to yishun. went to This Fashion to look for white blouse for work. oni found 1 acceptable one, 25bucks, din buy. den went arnd all the clothings shop in nrthpt. oni found 1 suitable one which costs 29bucks. de othr one is 50+ so forgeddit. in de end, din buy. mom say try hers.
got a new 3quarter pants for 5bucks. quite nice- first pic.

tried on 2 of mom's gowns. both rly pretty. yay. finally noe what im gona wear for prom. =D

jus came back frm granddad's hse at chongpang. dad n mom playin mahjong dere. bro dere. i was dere too cus i went to de spectacle shop to check my eyesight+make contacts. its an unexpectedly happy trip. i was like super worried when i walked dere wid my cuz. in de end found out my eyesight IMPROVED. lmaos! to think my mom keep saying im gg blind wid de long usage of comp.. oh. and a mnth's contact cost oni 25bucks. i was kinda surprised at the cost. cheap. =D hopefully it'd b rdy for collection by Tues.

came home myself by bus cus i cant tahan a few more hrs dere w8in for their mahjong session to end. id b so bored.

the stupid/silly things i do secretly..
was so prompted to call.. to ask.. to see..
held back those tears welled up in my eyes.
reminiscing is painful. back to top?

oh i forgot to blog fully abt monday! i left out the late afternoon part whr i went to my dental at thomson. gawd. i had a toothache luhs! sibei suay cans! den had to had injections to numb my gums before the dentist do the re-filling cus my toothache was cus my filling broke, which i think cus i ate de jappo cookie. LOl. damm de injection hurt mans. de whole period i was thinking of those happy times we had tgt.. the thoughts were the same as when i had surgery last yr. =[ *misses* oh. and the 'power of the injection' is v power man. even afta i left the clinic, i was numb all the way to my EYES. i cudnt blink properly even. goodness.



today is sucha fulfilling day. =D
well it started of quite dumbly. went off tday at arnd 11.45. went mac find bev+collect prom tix. den i realised i FORGOT to brg the damm paper out. the paper that need for collection of my passport. so went back take. den went meet bev again.


Lavender. ICA. GREAT man! waited den counter dat time found out mine can oni collect frm tml onwards. CRAP. waste my time. blahs. so in de end me n bev went bugis find metro cus bev wana buy her clogshoes for work n she wan use her metro voucher. we ended up in BHG thinkin it was metro. den afta walkin arnd n after choosing bev's shoes. we realised its BHG. LOL. den was so paiseh when bev had to give back those two box of shoes to the counter n say dunwan edi. bahhaha.
walked to OG to see if its metro n found out it wasnt so walked bak. got myself my first Little Miss's tee! yays. it was like super cheap luhs plus the material was quite good. market price of those tees is ~12bucks. bought it at $8.90. =D


went to far east to look for bev's ideal prom shoes, hot red heels. shun bian look arnd for half jackets for me. HOHO Agnes n Guohao. go there pat-tor ahs? haha. dey look so cute tgt, wid guohao carrying agnes' handbag. -envies-

browsed almost all the shops in basement and found my love! bahahas. well i din actually 'find it'. it caught bev's eye. den i did like it, but i thought it costs 279bucks. den when de shopkeeper called me to try it on, i chua-tio.[shock]. cus i cudnt afford a 279 buck half-jacket. den when i was looking at the mirror she say original price $27.90. after offer $25.10. den i was like. mmh. this jacket's rly pretty when worn though it din look as good when hung on the racks, i want it. called mom n she said yes. YAY


went up to higher levels to find bev's heels. finally found in the shop Colours.
bev bought those sparkling things she wanted for pasting on her face.
found this salon at first floor. special student's promo. cut+wash+style 15 bucks. sweeet! summr the hairstylists inside are guys. dey look pretty cute too. HAHa. oh, and the brochure+namecard the boss gave us says the hairstlists are trained in London HK Taiwan & Japan. mmh. boasts quite a good deal. lets see how dey do our hair on next wed. =D
prommy baby!

HAPPY HAPPYY. weird how i always plan to go out shopping and end up buying nothing. but tday i din plan to go out n spend at all. in de end i splurge away my fifty buck which i din plan to use. gawd. im like super broke! that fifty buck is actually i kept frm last yr i babysit my aunt's kids get de. den i kept it to use oni for emergencies. now its gone in ONE DAY. crap. 34bucks for clothings. 8.30bucks for food & beverage. im left wid SEVEN bucks. crap.


Do well for your exams aight? back to top?

GREAT.
i think im under a curse or smth. my body is going HAYWIRE.

first i cut myself wid my own nail.
then now my erhem. girls thing comes after missing for 1-2mnths.
AND im sick. gawd
thought i had hand foot mouth disease. thank heavens. it was only an ulcer near the throat. led to throat infection n headaches. crap. bin having headaches de whole day til just now 7pm+ den went to see doct. had to wait for an hr. gawd.
feeling super weak. hopefully am able to have enough strength by monday for work. and i still hav to go ICA tml to collect my new passport. graggh. hope i dont faint.

If only Matthew could take care of me.. back to top?

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus:
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

Verse 2:
When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Chorus back to top?

okay gawd. can someone remind me where i went on monday n tues? i am TOTALLY having memory loss problems. -thinks long n hard-

Monday (12 nov 07) : was supposed to go chg my passport phto today at ICA at lavender but i woke up quite late+ i left hse quite late. so by the time i reached ICA it was like 1+, 2pm. den there were HELL LOTS of peeps. and i had totally no idea what to do first/where to go. EVEN THE FREAKING INFO. COUNTER need to QUEUE up to ask smth. crap. so i ended up gg all the way to lavender for nothing.
smsed emi n met her n shimin at nrthpt cus i was super hungry, din eat breakfast. KFC-ed. thanks girls for specially meet me just to accompany me while i eat. bought myself star-papers to fold for fun. wanted to buy myself the logic game which i had been eyeing on for a year. Rush Hour. costs 30bucks. in de end din buy. =[ cus i oni left 34 bucks for the whole of my holiday. which is seriously sucky.


Tuesday (13 Nov 07) : met bev n went to Great World City to interview for the Best Denki job. my aunt's fren works dere n my aunt intro me go. goodness. so troublesome. had to take de train all the way to thiong bahru. den take 195/16/5. heng the interviewer,female, was super friendly. xd we were practically like chatting n laughing abt lah cans. hired on the spot. cool man! de wowness thing is. while we were waitin for interviewer come, we had to fill appli form PLUS we were each givin dis 3 pages of info abt this Safety 5 thingy frm Best Denki. den like eng comprehension lidat, hav to answr 5 qn according to de 3 pgs note. wows man. test on eng n maths skills wor? =O wells anyw, de pay's 5bucks/hr. kinda avrg luhs. my ideal when i started wanting to look for job was 6/hr but bahs. its alright. we got to choose n YAY i work customer service, bev as sales. =D

went to my mom's kindergarden at arnd 2+, 3pm. she informed me wat to do tml.

Warning. Long post ahead.
Yesterday (14 Nov 07) : as my mom be mei2 puo2 cus somehow our neighbour's son, who's getting married, jus wants my mom to be. n my mom hav to be in msia early today morning to help do some stuff. den i had to be the GUAI daughter & help her take her morning kindergarden class. K2. i cudnt do it alone, so asked bev to pei me.
morning, dug myself out of the bed at SEVEN am. heck! the earliest i woke up ever since 6th nov. super groggy. AND SUPER COLD. it was darn raining heavily. wore jeans n a dam baggy pull-over n shoes. STIL COLD .

bahs. bought some bread at Bake Inc. n reached mom's kindergarden at arnd 8.20am. cus my mom told me to reach arnd 8.15~8.30. de chi cher who is takin de class at that time helped me open door. n den the othr cher n her talked abit. CRAP. dey say my mom told 1 of them i coming at 9. den told the othr to open the door for me at arnd 8.30. den they were like saying dat they told my mom not to worry n dey will help me out. & i was like. WAT THE? i can come at 9am, my mom tell me go so early, FOR WAT? *yawns* zzz. so i sat dere, stil trying to wake up. waited til 9.40 for my turn to teach ... ENGLISH. bev came right when my lesson gona start. thank heavens.

i had to teach those 20 k2 kids how to use Who What Where When Which Why Whom Whose. heng oni need to teach for 20 mins to 30mins, if not i wudave panicked n died on the spot. [okay dat might be a little too dramatic.] but anyw, it was quite okay overall. dey are actually quite smart. =D
taught til abt 10am or so. den let them free play. Thanks to the othr cher for help if not i wud have died de 2nd time when they all rushed to get the toys.
they danced at 11am. anthr cher taught them. shall upload the vid i took:



My top 3 fav kids:
Rae Tan [super pretty! Wang Xing Ling Jr, little princess look. i like her name too!]
Xian Hui [innocent-cute]
Shernie [big eyes n cutie pie!]


afterdat peiied bev to ngee ann city[taka] cus nigel go this v high class shoe shop interview for job, intro-ed by his sis. den bev wan go try out too cus the pay's 8bucks/hr. like. wat the? so good. i din bother trying cus i edi got the best denki job n din feel like quitting it. in de end looks like only nigel wud b hired cus they want guys and 16 n above. poor bev. 16 on 26nov. aww. then ate at lucky plaza. walked bak to mrt. saw yeemay n xiuhui. HI! =D chatted a bit n agreed to meet later at yishun safra for pool.
bev nigel n me went off to somewhr for just a while. thanks you two really. =)

waited arnd an hr for a pool table. while waiting went to arcade. i spent $1.50 dere on the dam bishi bashi machine. blahs. then camped at bowling alley waitin for the person to call. i tried to learn how to fold cranes but it got me worked up becus the dam guide is STUPID. den nigel taught me how to fold this thingy. shall take a pic of it n post tml later on today.

person called. went in. played 1 match. yeemay n xiuhui came. HI AGAIN =D. played. nrthpoint. went to find jackken's mom cus bev n ym wan ask abt Taka job-jack working dere. in de end dey decided dunwan. n ym decided to go try interview for best denki n work wid me n bev. yay! =D den walked arnd. then they went to eat, i came hm for late dinner.

Miss you lots and lots. back to top?

Gomen

the horror of uncertaincy. D:
back to top?

why do you have to lie over and over again.
why?
i don't geddit. i don't
cant you just tell me?
why dyu have to hide things still?
DON'T tell me its to protect me.
STOP telling me theres nothing to hide.
STOP thinking your being v noble by 'cleaning up this mess', cus your only making a bigger mess wid what your doing.
STOP giving me short-term assurances.
JUST. STOP LYING. please.
'cus its been a month now, dat ive waited to hear the truth from you.
but your still letting me down.
all i want. is the truth.
if there rly wasnt any thing at all ytd, you wudnt have lied. you wudnt. dont give me excuses if u know its not totally true yourself.

I'm not dumb okay.
I can feel it.
I can't feel you anymore.
Your words seem to just echo off in emptiness.
You aint the ck i used to know anymore..
Your not the guy that wrote that 'kiddo-note' anymore.
You've changed.

It's not gonna be the same anymore, it it? back to top?

As i've left out pictures in this whole week's blogging, im gona 'reblog my events' again. LOl.

Random:

8 Nov - Centrepoint with family and xiaoyi's family:

Yesterday 10 Nov - Job finding + Soka celebration:

Today:

got this 'cut' above wid my own nail. can u believe dat? wtf man! i was like sleeping on my gran's bed den i turned n i cut my own knee wid me own nail. crap man. super painful la! de whol line of skin came dangling n i had to like, pull it off. gawd its still sore now.

Went off to Granny's hse at TPY today to pay respects to late granddad. stayed dere frm startin of noon til night. kinda boring. well anyw its gona be the last time we will be paying respects in dat apartment cus by this time nxt yr, my granny n de relative she stays wid are gona move over to the new hse near TPY central cus their current block's gona be teared down.

GOMEN Zi Xian! =X Thanks so much for letting me/arranging for me interview to work at Taka. but i cudnt =[ cus 1 is cus i hav to stay at granny's hse cus not v nice to leave jus like dat, 2 is cus my mom duno why whenever got relative say wan help me ask arnd, she dun wan me go for othr interview. zzz. which makes me rather sian diao. like, by the time she let me, i dunnid work liao can? kaos.

halfway thru spending time at gran's hse, went off cycling wid michelle n her dad[my gu zhang].


A little worry comes on.. on what the Feng Shui Master said. yikes. D: can't imagine the torture. Im not superwoman! =[ back to top?

Gomen bev for not telling you. =x

went out wid emi today for job search. AMK hub. gawd. dis exp made me feel so outcast. like. is eithr we ask too late or we not old enough.. zzzz many are wanting 18 n above. sucks man. crap. plus my parents don't want me working as waitress, which means no F&B, so like zzz~~ then of all de shops dat got available for US, 1 called back after a few mins. a shoe shop. tellin us go interview at far east at 6pm. but sadly, 5pm we need go Bishan stadium cus i peiing emi go Soka's 40th anniversary celebration.
hope the PepperPlus shop calls back. xd

then went to J8. went to some shops to ask, most eithr need 18 n above or not hiring. SIAN. den in de end oni ask like, 1-2 lvls den no time liaos, went off to bishan stadium.

wows~ many stars were invited to the Soka celebration mans. de starting was kinda boring n i felt like sleeeping. cus they were singing songs n stuff.. and sadly those songs are not rly my taste so.. yeah.
I officially declare my first time watcing a FULL match of soccer+ LIVE at stadium too. cus i really dont know how to xing shang soccer. but cus dis friendly soccer match is betw Soka de soccer team and the invited celebrities soccer team, its rather interesting. de celebrities won, as expected. haha! dere were randall tan, steven tan[brilliant soccer player!], darren, gurmit singh[JOKER], joakim, CHEN LI PING[de oni female on de field, she looked so cute la!] and some others. haha! n den the commentators were commentating in chi n dey were rather funny. xD. Felicia Chin came as audience! she's pretty!

Fang Zhong Hua came to sing. Dong Li Huo Che [under fang zhong hua] sang. Benjamin [css'o7] sang. zijie [css'o7] sang. benjamin sang Cao Ge's Bei Pan, v nice! etc~ and CRAZY EMILY. we waited for Darren cus emily wanted to take pic wid her DARLING DARREN. blahs! n den after getting the chance to take, she fa hua chi. bahs~ INSANE~


Wondering how it went today.
Can't help but feel irked by the closeness of...
Can't help feeling upset with whats happening still.
Don't understand why its taking so long.
Numb. back to top?

BORED.
was looking at streetdirectory on where the Toy Museum is. i wanna go! xd

Entertainment on the net:
www.thechangingpoint.blogspot.com

Speed Stacking




found jobs on street directory! xd
http://www.streetdirectory.com/jobs/singapore/industry/
it has a rather wide range of jobs available. xd BUT sadly i dont know how to write a resume. dats beside de point of me being tooo lazy. BAHAHA!

I HAVE A WHOLE LIST OF PLACES I WANNA GO! gosh!
Escape.
Wild Wild Wet.
Zoo.
Discovery Centre.
TOY MUSEUM.
Sentosa.
East Coast.
Night Safari? [never go before =x]


but before that. FREAK my aunt man. kaos. ever since 1 month ago my mom told me my aunt was asking her management if got office work for me. she works as an accountant at tts hospital. UP TILL NOW. after multiple promptings frm me, my mom say my aunt says oni got cleaners job. and im super pissed. i told my mom "tell er yi dunnid find for me liao. by the time she find hor, i dunnid work liao. ZZZ great la. say earlier la kao. if not i wudave went to find a job today at ps. PISSED.
back to top?

As i heard the "the person you were in the call wid is on anthr line" tone...

I really wonder..
cudnt already talk uh.

I'm trying to make up stuff to explain this to myself.
But it doesn't help.
Why can't the truth just be spoken straight?
why.



White lie? .... or not.
False promises? ... or not.
Sweet words? ... or nothings.
back to top?

im bored. can someone take me out pls? before i get a job to tie me down..
SOMEONE PLS GET MY BUTT OUT OF THE HOUSE CUS IM DEAD BORED.

dammit man. why of all times NOW. stupid Fiesta. now i cant play.
Maple is way boring.
Audition is.. i dunwanna play.
GE is out of the qn.
Ghostonline is lame.
Gunz cant load on my com anymore, somehow.
PANGYA is getting boring.
FIESTA IS HAVING LOTS OF TECHNICAL SHIT. zzz
BOREDBOREDBOREDBORED.

Movie marathon! shopping! beach! sentosa! escape! wild wild wet! ouhh man!
FASTER ORGANISE LEH.
GARY GOH. BEVERLEY TANG. EMILY TEE. PHYLLAN. CHAD. DREAMZE. Idako? =| back to top?

YEAHH! NO MORE CCHY NO MORE STUDY WOOHOO. YAY YAY YAYNESS!!
this is GREAT man! =D hmm. happy is happy but somehow abit no feeling. cant belive no more study. suddenly feel like studying. LOLNESS.

Sci MCQ paper today was kinda give free marks. some qns r TOTALLY de same as the redspot mcq example qn. wth man!
DnT was supposed to be easy but like.. some stuff i read but it flew outa my head... so yeah. LOL to the person hu shouted "zao lo la!" when we were released frm dnt paper. HAHA.

homed. chged. out. bev emi. cityhall. marina sqr. we were gg arnd wondering whr was Sakae. den finally found n went in. in de end decided on buffet. hoho!! first time eating buffet at sakae/by myself[no adult]. cus normally i eat buffet is waste $$ one. but since today is come out enjoy, so be it. =D woo. de qing wa(frog) guy. HAHA! LOVEs the tatami seats we sat at! hehs. first time sitting on tatamis.

Ate til so freaking full, toileted. den we wanted to take piccus in de lift cus got mirror. in de end went up n down cus oni 4 lvls[including basement]. den went down to basement got 2 china guys hu were hesistating to come in, den when de door closing dey came in. den SOMEHOW emi starting giggling. den bev n me followed suit. den BTH! all 3 of us burst out laughing. den 1 of the guy laughed oso. den de othr one, while dey were gg out, said "hahaha, hen hao xiao hor?". *door closes* "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
Emi-T puked from laughter.

took some pics imitating the cartoons designs on the wall. xdd. shall post em next time when i feel like it.

walked arnd. I LIKE THE ROXY HAT DAT COST 36BUCKS. bahs. bu she de buy. i realised when we shop, esp when got bev n me, we shop is shop for songs more than material items. LOL. my god la! every othr shop we pastby/browsed at. we'll stop suddenly, stare at each othr wid excitement n start "OHMYGOD OHMYGOD. WAT'S THIS SONG?!" hah! recorded down some lyrics of de song n came back to find. found 2/3 dat i want. =[

Timbaland - Apologize (feat. One Republic)
Shayne Ward - If Thats Ok With You
and this one.. i can't seem to find the exact song.. the lyrics goes like.. "just give me, one last kiss, one last time......"

LOVE dis! beautiful MV :

back to top?

Welcome back to my world Techno.
welcome back. back to top?

一天天就这样
可能我会习惯
天空被锁上
不再飞翔
可能变得勇敢
back to top?

headache. gawd i was so damn pissed just now. fuck. bin a long long time since i hav gotten so dissed off before. those replies were awful. really awful. D: harsh. for once i thought i cud have enough guts n strength to finally release my anger ive bin holding back.. but it got reflected right back at me. horrified.

I feel like i could just snap any moment. back to top?

我的心己破碎了了.
不知道怎么拼回去.
我受够了.
近来所发生的 '小事' ,
己把我推到极限.
我不能够了解昨天的事.
真的不能够了解.
你让我很失望. 很失望.

Disgusted and disappointed. back to top?

Im really really tired of all this emotional shit. i had ENOUGH of releasing all my pain in here. and for people who reads my blog n think im pathetic or trying to be pityful, ive got nothing to say. i dont know why im typing this eithr, perhaps Makino Tsukushi in Hana Yori Dango gave me the strength. i wish i cud have de strength of hers. i know my Os is already gone down the drain. fck it. im seriously deeply disgusted wid all these things. at times i really feel like puking.

Scenes frm Hana Yori Dango which have deep meanings to me:



The cold shoulder has really made me lost the faith i used to have. back to top?