Cold Nostalgia

Monday, July 24, 2006 @ 9:31 AM

uncontrollable anger.. =X

rites, perhaps its cuz i play too much n my brain cells r being burnt away, but i cant seem to rmb as much things as i used to b able to. as in like, im being mor n mor forgetful. its so xie2 men2(freaky?). besides dat, im gettin pissed ovr VERY small matters n showin my anger to pp arnd me hu cant help me, hu r not at fault. i duno y. i think im losing it. 1 more thing dat is gen4 xie2 men2 (more freaky) is de dreams im havin about shyt. yes. shyt=shit=dung=poopoo? gets?

i rmb dis week earlier on abt mon/tues/wed i had a dream. i dreamt dat my mom n bro was holdin a beaker each. i was oso holdin one. den inside de beaker got 1 lizard for us to eat. den if i din rmb wrgly, my bro ate de lizard juz like dat, live n raw n moving. YUCKS. n den my mom din had such big guts, so she blended de lizard n she drank it down! OMG LA. its like, so disgusting. den i din dare to eat. so my mom blended my lizard n den dey forced me to drink de blended lizard. i gulped 1 mouth n TRIED TERRIBLY HARD to swallow budden it stayed in my mouth long. n i can actuli feel smth like its de lizard's SHIT. den i cnt rmb wat happen. budden its like, so long alrdy n i can rmb quite vividly, n de taste, de feelin of de blended lizard+its shit in my mouth is so real, evrytime i think of it. i feel like puking. big time. serious!

AND DEN. juz today. today!! or rather ytd til today dat sleep la kay? i dreamt i drank shit. yea, shit. i dreamt dat my maid(in rl i dun hav a maid) filled my water bottle wid shyt+water. yes.. shitwater? yea n dere r actuli chunks of poo in my water bottle swimmin in water. YUCKS. n i drank it. n washed it. i nearly puke. its so XIE MEN LO!!! dreamin of drinkin SHyt twice in ONE week. OMG La. so yucky.

anyway, ytd went to xiao yi(small aunt) hse cuz my cuz's 1st mnth celebration! yay! so cute la de baby =D. Amanda So Jing Ting. nice =D. de food werent gud but stil edible luh. wtf man. yeong soon came to stay ovr at my hse. crap. i juz hate him. SPOILT BRAT. ok so he IS my cuz. wat a disgrace, so DEGRADING. i juz DONT LIKE him. cant stand him. dun play will die lidat. crazy spoilt brat. i-just-cannot-stand-him.

anyway, im so supposed to b finishin up my LONG OWED maths n LONG OWED hist. but yea. hopeless rite? ahh i duno. if oni we can study as n when we feel like it. n stil be able to hav money given weekly. how cool is dat? impossible duh!

im so sick of life. n i duno but like as if i feel like im being cursed or smth. besides all de freakiness. im beginnin 2 feel aches in my heart. nono not relationship heartache dat kinda thing. but it juz suddenly.. aches. smtimes its like short sharp pain. im worried >.< havnt told my mom abt it, dun dare to tell her. she is alrdy so tired out by workin for us n cleanin up de hse. i detest my dad =X ok i noe dat his work is very hard. but recently he has been goin abroad for gad noes wat. de thing i get to noe is dat its for work. seriously i duno wats happenin arnd me. i dun even get to communicate wid my dad nowadays. i miss my pri sch life when he used to sit at my bedside n read books to me until i fall aslp. when i type dis. i suddenly like.. got tears in my eyes liao. i duno.. i suspect. SUSPECT, he has a mistress??? CHOY of course. no way, i do trust dat he aint dat disgustin n jian4. but i duno.. i juz.. DONT KNOW.

I LOVE MY MOM TO THE CORE EVEN IF I DO GET PISSED OFF OCASSIONALLY BY HER NAGS.
dad i miss you, even douh i hate ur attitude.

i just had a great laugh at habbo =D AH KOR if u wan go T1 in airport. U ORGANISE!! grrr. dandan VS Tiramisu, who will win? lol bet most of u wun understan dis para. LOL.

If only i could turn back time..