Cold Nostalgia

Sunday, August 31, 2014 @ 11:44 PM

Day 5 of 31 - Letter to a Loved One

Day 5: Write a letter to a loved one. Chances are high that there is someone in your life that you’d like to say something important to. Maybe it’s a wife, a parent, a grandparent you never really got to say goodbye to…take the time today to write that out. It can be positive, negative, or anywhere in between. The beauty of this letter is that you aren’t sending it in the mail, you’re simply “voicing” something that needs to be said. Should you choose to share it later, that’s okay, but you don’t have to. Doing this can be a great way to heal anger that’s been pent up inside, or to release a pressure valve of sadness we may have been harboring over something lost.

The first person who came to mind for this is someone who isn't really a loved one anymore - more like a loved-ed one? But I guess it still counts.

So, to the special someone,

Three years isn't exactly very long, but it isn't short at all either, and even though I'm coping quite alright after we part and I know I'll be perfectly fine one day, some memories still creep back. I miss you. I miss the times with you. I miss telling you about my day and sharing interesting bits of stuff with you. I miss being able to completely be my stupid self around you and yet not be judged, or at least, still be loved for being myself.

It's true what they say about not knowing what you have until it's gone. I now see how many little things I overlooked. The little things that shows your love, care, and concern. Perhaps I took it for granted. Perhaps I'm too greedy. Or perhaps, the feelings just started to fade.. and I never wanted to admit it because it was so much more comfortable being where we were.

I don't know if what I did was right/wrong. I feel like the love is gone, but I can't deny I still care about you and the knot in my throat still comes when my relatives/friends ask about you, and my tears still flow like a running tap while typing this.

One thing for sure, I am wrong. Not wrong in the sense of ending this, but I, am wrong. You are right about me being overly-dependent. I am naive and gullible. I rely too much on people's opinions and sway too easily. I am not a good person. I have so much to work on, so much to improve on, so much to change.

I'm sorry for leaving while you're still serving. But maybe it's for the better. Maybe we fell in love at the wrong time of our lives, maybe not. Maybe it would have been different if a more talkative you and a more independent me fell in love.

Thank you for the memories. We had a great run. I apologise to you and your mom, dad, and sis. From the depths of my heart, I thank all of you for having welcomed me into your lives and taking care of me for the past 3 years. I sincerely wish the best for you, your studies-should you choose to further them, your future career, and everything else. Most importantly, I wish you happiness.

I hope that someday, somehow, we can be friends again.

Take care Long.

With love,

Beiby.