June 1st 1991 baby
ex - Singapore Polytechnic communications student
Strictly Dance Zone

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Finally met up with bev and emily after a looong time to catch up with each other over dinner @ Ramen Champz @ Iluma. It was great to see+chat with both of them again. Shared our stories, mostly of bev's and my romance life.. yada yada.

It's really funny how we used to be that three young girls roaming the school together but have grown up to lead three very different lives. Emily having just started working at a childcare centre not long, soon to pursue a diploma in childhood education. While bev's furthering her studies @ SIM.. Happy to catchup with them again and do hope that we go out again more often. :)

So we were chatting and all and bev accidentally let slip of something which really caught me by surprise - or more like shock. It really made me feel so unjustified to be holding all the blame to me and my ex not working out. Yes, I was wrong to have ended the relationship that way but really, it honestly isn't fair to judge just like that.

"the relationship was a mistake right from the beginning." I honestly don't know what to say. I didn't feel anything when I first heard that from bev but I couldn't stop thinking about that phrase. It is so disgusting, humiliating and insulting at the same time. Apparently, I have been a rebound all those while. I seriously don't get it.

What makes it stupid is that I was the one being chased and I was the one who got asked to be in the relationship. I put in my all, at least for that long period (at least a year) before internally realising we aren't meant for each other. YET, IT WAS A MISTAKE FROM THE START. My dear boy, if you find me a chore, which you already knew my personality and expectations of a rltnship, you should have goddamn not made those moves in the first place. And not ending it while it's still early and forcing yourself to accept me as your girl, what nonsense.

The worse thing is, the person who knew the truth and whom I took as my best friend hid it from me all these while. I treasure you best friend, but time and again, I feel so insulted and heartbroken by your actions. you knew I always had a liking towards someone else, though I pushed those feelings away as I wanted to put in my all in the relationship (admittedly wrong). You knew I wasn't being loved, and I wasn't in love, BUT you kept quiet. I really don't know whether I should be angry at you or not, but for the sake of our friendship, I don't wanna start a probable quarrel, esp for smth which has passed. however I can't deny how disappointed I am.

On this note, I wanna end off by saying how afraid I am of people now. People are such scary things. But at least from this, I learnt how stupid we have all been and how we should have ALL made out intentions clear. Perhaps then, things would have straightened out fine. back to top?